Back to Blighty

After a quick hop, skip and a leap of faith (I hate flying) across the channel we arrived back to Le Sauvage reasonably exhausted from our week in England. The problem is that I'm now firmly ingrained in this wonderful culture of doing very little and well, quite frankly, its really diffcult to do more than one thing in a day, and hold a conversation with more than one person. If I see a person pass by the front door here I'd think we were being invaded by aliens. It really is that quiet. SSSHHHHH....I can hear myself breathing. Therefore, as you can imagine, I found driving up the M25 and navigating my way around the 'ding everso slightly stressful. And it wasn't even rush hour! I also noticed it was about 10 degrees colder, with an artic breeze (more like a cyclone) and a tinsy bit on the grey side. Roy even thought he saw a 'For Sale' sign through the airplane window...25% off Britain all this week! What a joker, eh?

Now I'm not getting all anti-UK on you. I promise not to be one of those irritating people who flee the UK for a 'happier' life abroad, (from my last post we know this doesn't seem to be the case), and then spend the whole time slating Britain while sipping gin and tonic by the pool in Fuengirola, getting fat and getting pissed(sounds alright). I LOVE Britain. I still believe that the English countryside is beautiful, varied and unlike any other in the world, and there is nothing like a summer's time in Blighty; drinking pints in a pub garden with your best mates is one of life's little, but bloody fantastic pleasures.

We had a marvellous trip and thank you to Jill and Ron for being so hospitable and for putting up with us for so long. Also for Rafferty's first ever pair of real shoes! Now he's got something to really support him when he's kicking the kitchen cupboards in!

Rafferty was also extremely chuffed to see Auntie Lenny. His favourite Auntie of all time! The fact that she is his only Auntie has nothing to do with it of course. I mean he's only 16 months how the hell does he know. Obviously Auntie Lenny is much nicer and kinder than Mummy as he seems to have forgotten my name and now referes to me as 'Nenny' (naisal pronounciation). Gee thanks Raffers, only 8 hours of excruitating pain bringing you into the world only to be replaced by your Auntie who never tells you off. Kids are so fickle.

Also managed to get in a few shopping trips. Primark is awesome, I just wish I could forget about the sweat shops. Everytime I'm in there pouring over how many tops I can buy for 20 quid I keep getting images of little Indian children sewing up the seams. Damn Damn Damn. I really want to be an ethical shopper. Why does it cost so bloody much?

Roy and I even went on a 'date.' I use the term 'date' very loosely, if only to signify that we went out of the house alone, without Raffers. OOOOhhhhh. I know, exciting isn't it. Yes, me and Roy went on a romantic date to... the....cinema! There was no smooching in the back row though, well there was in my dreams but that was with Daniel Craig. Hot or what! Great film...not sure what happened, and my only real criticism would be that Daniel had his clothes on for far too much of the film. And I agree with Aged P who quite rightly said, in his infinite wisdom, that there "wasn't enough sex."

To round off the week and in true Winehouse style (but without the crack of course), I got bladdered with my best friend and watched endless episodes of Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor. She had SKY-plus-ed them. Now that's what I call proper friendship.

This then 'inspired' us to participate in a little reality TV of our own. Next time you're perusing the internet and stumble upon utube you might discover my own personal rendition of Marvin Gaye's classic 'Sexual Healing'. Contemporary mind, none of this classical ballet rubbish. No no, this is pure bump and grind R Kelly circa 1996. Let me tell you, I may be a mum of one staring down the gun barrel of time at my 30th Birthday, but I've still got it! CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE. Kelly - delete that video IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

Shopping for cheap tat, binge drinking, reality TV, and making a tit of yourself....ah there's no place like home!